Deception
by mollietaz
Summary: Craig is hiding something...Can the Gorillas work ot what before it's too late.


**DECEPTION**

**`You're doing what ? She asked him **

**`Why on earth are you revoking my pass? What reason can you possibly have for denying me access to the mansion ?she asked him.**

**`Well say something`. She said**

**` At least tell me what I did wrong`. **

**`Craig looked at her . `I do not have to give you a reason for anything I do , I run this estate not you, and for the next few weeks I do not want you here, so therefore your pass is revoked until I decide otherwise`, he told her**

**`With no reason? You're throwing me off the estate and not even going tell me why? she persisted.**

**`I don't want you here and that is reason enough.` he said, `Now if you would get your things together I'll give you a lift back to the cottage and that is the end of it Angel , do you understand ?he asked her.**

**`Oh yes Sir Lt. I hear you loud and clear , and you can forget about the lift , I wouldn't want to put you out , I'll get back by myself , thank you ! and she left the room slamming the door behind her.**

**He heard her slam the front door in her anger, and then punching the table he swore loudly. He knew that he had hurt her ,but he had to get her away. This was something that he had to do and he didn't want her anywhere near him if people started asking questions. He had to live with what he had decided to do, but it was something she must never ever know about. It would be hard enough keeping it a secret from his men , but he knew they would accept what he told them, and he knew how to make a death look like an accident, and over there no one would ask too many questions. They would believe what he told them all he had to do was get him alone , and then he was a dead man.**

**The new recruit arrived the next day , even though his men protested they didn't need anyone else on the team, the new man was there to stay. The Warden had been insistent. Private Sam Taylor had been released from prison for this one job, after that he would be free to rejoin his unit and finish fighting the war, there would at least be no parole for him. The Sgt Major had been told to give him extra training both on the assault courses and weapons training, he got him up at the crack of dawn and worked him flat out all day , only stopping for meal breaks . He was worked twice as hard as the other cons and amazingly never once complained .Actor watched the Warden with him sometimes and had thought for one brief moment that he had seen a look of pure hatred on his face , but it was gone as quickly as it came. Something was going on between the two of them , of that Actor was sure but he knew the Warden well enough not to ask questions , not this time . One thing he was sure of , he was going to keep an eye on both of them when they were in Germany, because something was going to happen, he just wished he knew what. **

**`So you do anything like this before then mate`, asked Goniff**

**`Sam looked at him ,`No , not special forces , just with my unit , don't really know why I'm here`. **

**You know the Warden then ?Goniff asked**

**`Never met him 'till he came to the prison , told me he'd got a job for me, didn't have a choice, was ordered to go`. he said**

**Actor walked up to him, `You were told you had to come on this mission? He asked**

**`Yeah, Warden said if I didn't they were going to keep me over here, not send me back to the States to finish my sentence like they were supposed to. At least back there I could see my family sometimes, but over here , I'm just a yank in a limey prison and trust me , the Brits don't like yanks , my life was has been hell over here ,rather die than go back inside , Warden has me between a rock and a hard place ,and he knows it, got no choice but to do what he wants`, he said.**

**`What you inside for anyway,` asked Casino**

**`Sam lowered his head, `Had lost some good mates , came too close to dying a couple of times and decided I didn't want to fight any more, I was sick of the killing ,so I went to the pub and I got drunk , decided I wasn't going to go back , so I stole a jeep. Army didn't like that, crashed it, Army didn't like that either, got scared and ran , Army definitely didn't like that, so when they caught me three weeks later got done for desertion .` he said**

**No one had heard Craig come in**

**`Nice fairy tale now gentlemen lets get down to work`.**

**They had left early the following morning, had been dropped in on target and met up with the resistance ,all according to plan. Craig followed Philippe to the safe house and went through the plan once more. A simple job , enter the building , crack the safe , photograph the documents and leave the way they came. Every one knew where they had to be and what they had to do .**

**`Everything clear ? Craig asked them**

**`Piece of cake baby` replied Casino**

**`Good , then I'll go and make the final arrangements for our escape route and we'll set off this evening , so get some sleep , once the jobs done we're out of her ok? **

**They nodded**

**`Taylor you're with me , the rest of you stay here , no walkabouts , understood ?**

**`Understood Warden`, said Actor ,and watching them leave, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to go wrong.**

**`Chief walked up to him , `You got the feeling too haven't you ? Something's going down , he's to troubled, any idea why?**

**`No`, said Actor`, And I don't think he'd tell me if I asked him. I can't help but think it has something to do with Angel, but I can't imagine what, Why else would he send her away from the mansion unless it was to keep her away from Taylor. Let's just do our job for the moment and keep an eye on both of them, all right Chief?**

**`Yeah , just wish I knew what was happening, don't like this feeling I got, worries me, don't like him keeping secrets.` he said.**

**`Neither do I Chief , but for now let's just follow his lead , and be there if he needs us, ok? Now get some sleep, we've got a long day ahead of us`, he said.**

**`Yeah well ain't gonna sleep none , but I know what you mean`, and he walked to the chair and sat down , facing the door , covering their backs as always.**

**Twenty four hours later they were in a farmhouse waiting for Philippe to return with hopefully renewed instructions to get them out of there. So much for an easy mission. It had been going fine until the fire alarm had gone off and then half the German army had arrived to put the fire out. They had escaped by the skin of their teeth and as Casino had landed awkwardly and twisted his ankle it had been up to Taylor as his back up to carry him out of there . Now with his foot bandaged and up on the sofa Casino turned his attention to Taylor.**

**`Hey , thanks for what you did back there , pulling me out from under the rubble and dragging me to the car, would have been surrounded by Krouts if I'd had to wait for them to get to me,` he nodded towards the others`, I owe you one .`**

**`You don't owe me anything Casino, I was your back up , just doing what I was told to do `, Taylor said**

**`Well thanks anyway `. He said **

**`Chief was at the door in an instant , `Quiet `, he hissed**

**The door opened and Philippe entered and dismissing Chief walked over to Craig.**

**`I have managed to get you picked up first thing in the morning if you think that you can travel fast enough , the boat will only wait one hour , so we must hurry `,**

**Craig turned to them ,`Right you heard the man , move it , Casino you gonna be ok,?**

**`Be right behind you Warden `, he said. **

**`Right let's go`.**

**Five minutes later the house was in darkness and they were on their way.**

**They made good time and reached the rendezvous with over an hour to spare , They made themselves at home in the caves that overlooked the shore and ate the last of the food that Philippe had given them.**

**`Right `, said Craig , `You guys stay here , I'm going to take a last look around , make sure there are no surprises waiting for us.**

**`I'll come too `, said Chief**

**`I just told you to stay here`, Craig said, `Taylor can come with me`.**

**`Why him ? Don't you trust me or something? asked Chief**

**`Just once , do as you're told , stay here , and that's an order , ` he snapped. And as he walked out of the cave Taylor followed.**

**Craig led him along the beach and then started up the path towards the cliff top, then he just stopped , and looked at Taylor.**

**`So`, asked Taylor, `Is this where it happens? This accident you've planned,` he asked Craig**

**For a moment Craig looked startled**

**`What ? Didn't you think I'd want to know who I hurt ?who I killed? Didn't you think I'd want to put a name to the face in my nightmares?**

**I knew who you were and what you intended to do from the minute you walked into my cell , I think a part of me was glad that at last the nightmare would be over, I'll not fight you Lt . you have every right to want me dead so just do what you need to do . Ok?`.**

**Craig looked at him ,`I lost one of the most precious things in my life the day she died, `Craig said` I watched her bleed to death ,and I couldn't get to her , and you just got out of the jeep and ran away, the last thing I saw was her dying, and it has haunted me for a long time. Then they tell me that they're going to send you back to the States so you can appeal , try to get your sentence reduced , diminished responsibility , well I knew I couldn't let that happen, you've caused me too much pain , you took everything from us, and Angel almost…..he didn't finish the sentence , well now I'm going to do the same to you, I'm going to take away your life. She would have been five years old next week ,do you know that , and I have to go home and watch someone that I love die again , because you killed her daughter and I'm going to kill you for all the pain you caused her `.**

**He walked towards Taylor**

**`Told you I'm not going to fight you Lt. you do what you need to do to make things right for yourself, if killing me will take away the pain then do it. I was stupid, and drunk, and I cost that child her life and I know now that I almost killed you too , but just so you know ,I've not touched the booze since that day, never will again, and I can't forget her either, I wish I could change what happened, but I can't , and it is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. There isn't a day goes by that I don't wish that it had been me that died instead of her ,so kill me and end both our misery.` There were tears streaming down Taylor's face .`I'm sorry , if I could bring her back I would `, he said sorrowfully.**

**Craig walked up to him , grabbed his shirt and pushed him to the edge of the cliff, Taylor held onto his arms, looked down at the drop beneath him, then back at Craig.**

**`All I have to do is let go `. Said Craig**

**`Taylor nodded and closed his eyes .**

**She wouldn't want this Warden `, **

**Craig looked round and saw Chief and Actor standing watching him . **

**`Go back to the cave`, he said `,This has nothing to do with you`.**

**`Oh but you're wrong Warden, this affects us as much as it will affect Angel. How do you think she is going to feel when she knows what you have done? Actor asked.**

**`She'll never know. You'll never tell her`. He glared at Actor,` This is something that I will have to live with , not her `.he told them.**

**`Don't you think that this will effect the way you feel, the way you are with her , Chief said ,`This ain't like killing a Krout , this is murder , plain and simple , and things between you and Angel will never be the same again, she'll know something's wrong, and she'll badger you until you tell her , don't do this Warden , it's not right `,**

**`You think I care what a murderer like you thinks ,`he asked**

**Chief looked hurt and angry but said quietly,` Yeah I guess I was hoping what I thought mattered a little , you being a friend and all, guess I was wrong,` When Craig looked round to reply, Chief was gone.**

**Actor looked at Craig and said quietly ,**

**`Do you still think that killing him won't affect you ?, think what you just said to Chief, how much you hurt him , and tell me that you would not have decked anyone that had said that to him a few weeks ago. I know how much losing Sarah hurt both you and Angel but you have come so far now, the two of you are a family , she loves you , she can not lose you too, she would not survive that again, not after the last time, it almost destroyed her , you know that. This time she would not have us to turn to, we would either be back in prison or on the run, don't you see that. Killing him will just destroy everything that you have spent the last year putting right . Please Warden`, Actor said solemnly `Please think again about what you are about to do and all the pain it will cause both of you , and tell me if he's worth that.**

**Craig looked at Taylor and gradually the anger subsided and he brought him back from the cliff edge. He let go and as Taylor slumped to the floor Craig turned and walked away.**

**Taylor stayed kneeling , gasping for breath and shaking , knowing that he had never been nearer death than in the last few moments. He turned to Actor. `Thank you`, he said simply.**

**Actor walked up to him. `I don't want your thanks , if it had been me instead of him holding you over that cliff , I would have let go, and not thought twice about it for what you have put that family through. Don't ever think for one moment that I did this for you .`he said angrily, `That man is worth ten of you , and he has people who depend on him, people who care about him very much, and I will not let him throw his life away , on the likes of you. he deserves so much more than that.` Actor turned and walked back down the path , leaving Taylor alone on the cliff.**

**When Actor got back to the beach the boat had arrived to pick them up. Craig looked at Actor. `Thanks` , he said `We'll talk about this later , for now let's just get the hell out of here , ok? he asked. Actor nodded and turned to see Taylor heading for the beach.**

**`Talk to Chief Warden`, was all he said as he walked towards Casino to help him into the boat.**

**Chief was just coming out of the cave when Craig saw him.**

**`I'm sorry `, he said` I was out of line, forgive me`.**

**Chief was stunned , no-one had ever said they were sorry for the way they had spoken to him , and after all he was just what the Warden had called him, he was a murderer whether he liked it or not.**

**He looked at the man standing in front of him. `Forget it `, he said don't matter none.`**

**`Yes it does `, came the reply, `It matters a great deal, I have come to know and respect you over the last year , to trust your judgement and to rely on you , maybe too much sometimes, and I just want to thank you for always being there to watch my back , even when I tell you I don't want you too,` he said smiling `, So what I said does matter because it was said in anger , and it was totally out of order , and I hope that as my friend you can forgive me`. he said `Because it is important to me that I still have the friendship you offered.**

**Chief looked at him and smiled , and then looking at the others all waiting in the boat said. `If we don't move soon they're going to leave without us , and I for one am not going to try and tell Angel that we got left behind because we were talking, we'd never live it down`. He said. Craig returned the smile ,`You're absolutely right` he said , let's go, and thanks again Chief .`They took off towards the boat at a run.**

**They arrived back at the mansion in the early hours of the morning and when they opened the door there was an immediate wonderful of bacon cooking. `She's back`, said Goniff happily and immediately headed for the kitchen, The others followed and were greeted with a high guys and a smile that they had all missed over the last few weeks.**

**`Everything go all right ?she asked as they all sat down at the table. `Everything's just great `, said Casino ,`Got a sprained ankle but apart from that we're doing just fine, Warden's stuck at H.Q. for a little while, but he should manage to escape in a couple of hours. Now what's for breakfast ? I'm starving,` he asked her.**

**`I thought Goniff was the only one that thought about food all the time`, she said.**

**She turned back to the stove and picked up the coffee pot and put it on the table for them to help themselves while she finished the breakfast, and as she looked up she saw Sam standing in the doorway.**

**`Hi Sam , ` she said `What are you doing here ?You been out with them? She nodded towards the guys. Come on in , breakfast's almost done and coffee's ready`.**

**`Hi Catherine , I'll give breakfast a miss ,not really hungry,` he said.**

**`You know this guy? asked Chief**

**She stood looking at them all ,`Yes I know Sam, we met when he was in prison`, she told them.**

**She looked at the expressions on their faces and knew something was wrong.**

**`All right , what's been going on that you don't think I should know about , and don't tell me nothing , cause you're all sitting here looking as guilty as hell, come on tell, or else`, She threatened,**

**`It's something that you'll have too talk to the Warden about Angel,` said Actor,` It's nothing that we can really talk about, none of our business.`**

**She looked at them and then at Sam , who was still standing in the doorway,**

**`Have some breakfast `, she said , `you look as if you haven't eaten for days, come on , sit. Goniff make some room will you? She asked**

**`You know him, know what he did , and you invite him for breakfast? What the hell's going on Angel? How can you forgive him for what he did? asked Casino,**

**Angel ignored him and finished dishing up their breakfasts and then sat at the table next to Sam**

**Angel looked at them.**

**`After Sarah died , and Craig had left for the States to find you guys I decided I needed to find out exactly what happened. Never asked anyone you see, she was dead and that was all that mattered, and as far as I was concerned Craig was to blame for letting her die , he was the one who promised to take care of her, he was the one I hated more than anyone, I never even thought about the driver of the jeep until maybe a month after I'd lost her, and then I decided that I needed to know exactly what happened and Sam seemed to be the person to ask.` she said` So I went to the prison to talk to him`. she said.**

**`Does the Warden know about this ?` asked Actor,**

**`Guess I never got round to telling him, knew he'd be madder than hell if he found out , so it was easier to keep it a secret`,**

**Angel looked at Sam, ` tell them what you told me Sam ,they need to know,` she said.**

**Sam didn't look up**

**`I was with my unit , with two of my best friends , there was a mortar attack and I was knocked to the ground, when I got up they were gone, there was just nothing , and all I had was a few cuts and bruises and a broken arm and they were both gone. They shipped me home but even after the arm healed the nightmares didn't go away. I spent most of my time down the pub trying to drink the memories away , and then when my new orders came through I knew I couldn't go. I was too scared to go back to the fighting, so I went down the pub, got drunk and saw this jeep, and I took it, don't even remember getting here. I finished off a bottle of scotch that I'd taken from the pub and just kept on driving. They tell me I must have driven all night to get this far, but I don't know, the last thing I remember was skidding round the corner , hitting the kerb and my head at the same time and hearing glass shattering. I swear I didn't know I'd hit anyone , all I could think of was that they would catch me and send me back if I didn't run. So that's what I did , and I kept on running for the next three weeks or so , 'till the police found me and turned me over to the army. That was the first time I knew that I had even hurt anyone, let alone killed a child. I would do anything to change things , put them right , that's why I didn't fight the Lt. figured if killing me would make his life easier in any way then, I owed him that much.`**

**He finally stopped and looked at Angel.**

**`I'm so very sorry`, he said and tears started to slide down his cheeks, `I don't know what to do to even try to make this right `,and he got up and walked quickly out of the kitchen.**

**The others were silent until Actor said, `If he's pulling a con he's damn good at it, because I believe him`.**

**`So did I `, said Angel, `He's punishing himself more every day than I ever could`.**

**`Did Craig really try to kill him? she asked,**

**Actor nodded , had him over a cliff, if Chief hadn't followed him I think he would really have dropped him. He was like a man possessed. I saw Chief leave and followed him and somehow we managed to get through to him.`**

**`Oh my God`. She said.**

**`Do we know what sparked the Warden off like this after all this time` Actor asked her .**

**`The only thing I can think of is it would have been Sarah's Birthday next week` she said sadly ,` maybe that's it . I really don't know Actor . But it's something I intend to find out as soon as he gets back.` she said `How the hell could he have been so stupid?**

**`Maybe he just thinks the guy deserves to die, he did almost kill the Warden too remember, and you hated him for a long time because of what happened, blamed him , not Sam, maybe it's just a revenge thing he's got going on. Chief said quietly.**

**`I thought all of that was in the past,` she said, `Killing Sam won't make things right , it'll just make things worse and if he can't see that then…..`**

**She stopped as she saw they were all looking towards the doorway, she turned and looked directly at Craig.**

**`Why? `Please just give me a reason .**

**He stared silently at her.**

**`You tried to kill him? She asked, `What the hell were you thinking? You could have lost everything`, she said sadly**

**He said nothing**

**Damn it Craig , talk to me , tell me what was so important that you were willing to throw your life away, our lives away , please just tell me **

**why,` she begged him.**

**He looked at her , and then without a word , turned and walked away.**

**There was silence in the kitchen until Actor walked up behind her and put his arm round her shoulder . **

**`Would you like me to try and talk to him? he asked,**

**She shook her head , **

**`Don't think it would do any good right now, do you? she asked him,**

**`I'd be willing to try if you wanted me too`. He said**

**Angel walked away from him ,You should all go and get some rest, you need it, and I need some time on my own to try and work out what to do for the best, just do one thing for me guys would you? she asked them , ` Keep an eye on Sam would you , I think he could use a friend right now,`**

**`Well he ain't never going to be a friend of mine `, said Casino,**

**Angel sighed,` Alright Casino , but just think about one thing, how many times have you and Goniff come out of the Doves and driven home ?**

**`That 's different we never hurt anyone`, he said**

**`Then maybe you should just count yourselves lucky , because Sam didn't set out to hurt anyone that day either , so please for me , cut him some slack, I'm not asking you to like him , just don't make things any worse for him ok?**

**`Yeah well if that's what you want, ok`, he said, `But just for you, not him, all right ?**

**`That will do just fine Casino`, she said smiling,` And thanks,**

**Casino left the kitchen grumbling to himself, and Goniff and Chief followed him.**

**`You sure you'll be ok? Chief asked as he passed her,**

**She nodded `Ill be fine Chief, and thanks for all that you did for him, both of you ,` she looked at Actor. `Thanks for stopping him. `Now you go and get some rest and I'll see you at supper , all right ?**

**They both nodded **

**`Promise you'll call us if you need us` , said Actor **

**`I promise `, she said and walked away and left them standing in the doorway watching her go and both wishing they could do something to help both her and the Warden.**

**None of them had intended to sleep for long but as they looked at the clock they realized that they had slept the afternoon away **

**There was no smell of cooking when they woke up, which was unusual, obviously Angel hadn't got back from wherever she went when she left earlier that day. They showered and dressed and went downstairs . The place was deserted . The phone rang in Craig's office and as the door was open Actor went in to answer it. **

**`Who's that? Asked a gruff voice**

**`It's Actor , Warden what can I do for you? he asked **

**`Tell Angel I want to see her at the cottage now`, he said**

**`I'm afraid that's impossible Warden , Angel left this morning and no one knows where she is . Do you want us to look for her? He asked **

**The phone went dead.**

**`Obviously not`, he said `Anyone know where she is likely to be,? assuming the Warden's at the cottage and she's not there` he asked them.**

**`What about Mary's , she might go and talk to her , she helped her the last time, maybe she'll go back there ,` said Chief. **

**`Right `, said Actor ,` We don't want to spook her , so Chief you and Casino go and check with Mary , and if she's not there check the church, she might just go there,`**

**Goniff I want you to stay with Sam like she asked us to do , don't leave him alone, ok`, he asked,**

**`Whatever you want mate `, said Goniff and went back upstairs.**

**`What are you going to do `, asked Chief**

**`I'm going to call the only other person I can think of that she would go to, said Actor,**

**Chief looked puzzled **

**`Peter Roberts `, said Actor,` she talked with him a lot when Sarah died let's hope that he can shed some light on what the hell is going on around here, some one somewhere knows something apart from the warden and I think it's about time we found out just that is.**

**There was a sound of running footsteps and Goniff skidded into the room. `He's done as runner , checked everywhere and he's gone `, he gasped**

**`Damn`, said Actor, `Check the grounds Goniff, it's unlikely he's got off the estate so he may just be laying low somewhere , `**

**`Right o mate `, said Goniff and headed at a run for the front door.**

**`This `, he said to no one in particular, `Just keeps getting better and better `. He picked up the phone and dialled the hospital.**

**Craig arrived back at the mansion thirty minutes later and was met in his office by Actor.**

**`You found her yet? He asked Actor,**

**`No and the way you are acting I doubt that we will, what possessed you to go through her medical file? Oh and she knows you did , she spoke to Peter last night and between them they worked out what this is all about, she's probably miles away by now and has no intention of coming back, and to top it all Sam Taylor's missing too. Is this what you wanted ? To hurt her for what she did? Actor stopped and looked at Craig.**

**He stood looking out of the window, not really seeing anything.**

**`You didn't see her that first day after Sarah was killed. I never believed she could hate me so much, she would have killed me if she could have. I took the blame for what Taylor did , and it cost me my family , she wouldn't even let me go to the funeral , did you know that? He asked ,She wouldn't even let me say goodbye to Sarah.**

**`I hadn't realized things were that bad between you `, Actor said**

**When they posted me back to the States to find you guys , I didn't care whether you killed me or not , I had nothing left that mattered any more. I guess when the team started to work together , and the jobs needed doing , it pulled me out of it for a while, and the jobs became important. I didn't know what she was going through because she wouldn't let me near her , I didn't know what she'd tried to do until I walked into Peter's office a few weeks ago and he'd left her file on the desk , I thought there was something wrong with her that she wasn't telling me, so I opened it .I couldn't believe things were that bad and I didn't know. **

**Then when I found out that they were shipping Taylor back to the States and trying to get his sentence reduced to diminished responsibility , I guess I flipped. He was being sent back to be near his family after taking mine away from me and putting her through all that , all I wanted to do was kill him , and he was willing to let me, he knew what I was going to do when he took the job, and he went anyway. But I couldn't stop, not until you and Chief were with me on the cliff top, and then it all fell into place and I realized what I was doing, it was as if someone had taken the blinkers off, but then it was too late.`**

**`You need to find her and explain, she'll understand,` Actor said,**

**`I think this time I've gone too far, I doubt that if she would come back that she would ever be able to trust me again, and I've only myself to blame`, he said**

**Goniff's voice broke the silence that followed.**

**`Actor , you there? He shouted , `Oh Warden didn't know you were back, we've got a bit of a problem `, he said**

**`The good news is I found Sam at that old summer house`. he said**

**`What's the bad news Goniff,? Asked Actor**

**`He's got a gun and he's threatening to use it on himself if anyone goes anywhere near him , and I think he means if Warden`, he said**

**`Oh great just when we thought things couldn't get any worse`, said Actor.**

**`Ok Goniff I'll sort it ,` said Craig `it's time this was finished once and for all `, he said and walked quickly into the grounds.**

**As they approached the summer house they heard voices. `I thought you said Taylor was there on his own Goniff`, said Craig**

**`He was when I left him Warden , honest, wouldn't let me near him , had the gun to his head.`**

**They approached quietly and saw Taylor sitting on the steps with Angel next to him. Taylor still had the gun , but at least it was pointing at the ground**

**`He doesn't look dangerous , let's let her handle it Warden, she might just be able to get the gun away from him`, Actor whispered,**

**Craig nodded , and they stooped down to watch and listen , just in case she needed them.**

**`You really going to do this then? Angel asked**

**`Would solve everyone's problems if I did , now wouldn't it ? He asked her,**

**Yeah , I thought the same way , when I tried `, she said,**

**`He laughed , oh like you did this? He said**

**Angel became serious.**

**`After Sarah died and Craig left for the States there were days when there was just so much pain , and such emptiness, that I couldn't bear it. Losing everything in only three months was just too much , and some days dying just seemed preferable to living alone. I don't even remember why that day seemed worse than others , but I left Mary's and went back to the cottage , got David's gun and a bottle of whisky and drank myself stupid. Apparently that saved my life , I must have tripped over as I pulled the trigger and I missed , just put a hole in the wall. Woke up in hospital the next day with a cut on my head and the worst hangover I've ever had. Like you I don't touch the stuff now.**

**I guess now I can see what a mistake it would have been , I've done so many things since then . There are so many things that would have been different if I'd done what I'd intended`, she said**

**`Like what ? He asked **

**`If Craig had been at the hospital and I hadn't been there things might not have worked out as they did. , I sat with him for quite a while and I think that he responded to my voice more that he would have to just a nurse that he didn't know, andI have the cottage, it gives the guys a place to run when they need one, and I found a new family with them, one that I think needs me almost as much as I need them ,and if you tell them that I will shoot you` , she laughed.**

**`All I'm saying is tomorrow will be better, just hang around long enough to give it a chance, please, ` she asked**

**He sat with his head in his hands, still holding the gun.**

**`Look , the chances are good that you'll be sent back to the States, and I'll do everything I can to help with getting you're sentence reduced, maybe they'll even keep to the deal and send you back too your unit , but whatever happens I'll be there for you`, she said, `I'll help all I can`.**

**He did not look up. **

**`You told me once that you'd give your life to bring her back, well I'm asking for that life now, your life`. She said, `Do your time , and then do something for me , payback if you like, `**

**`I don't understand`, he said**

**`When you get out , I want you to find someone that needs your help, some kid who's going to end up inside just because no one gives a damn, or a kid who's getting kicked about and has no one to turn to , when you get out you find that one kid and you make a difference, give someone a chance at life , a chance they won't have if you pull that trigger . That's what I want, that's your payback. `What do you say, hell if it doesn't work you've lost nothing , but if it does then you've saved a life , that's got to count for something, hasn't it?**

**He dropped the gun to the ground and looked at her ,**

**`I'll do what you want , don't know how much good it will do, but I'll try ok? he asked**

**`That's all I'm asking you to do , just try , Now you'd better get back before they find out you're missing` .she said, **

**`To late for that , Goniff already knows,`**

**`Well maybe we'll get lucky and he won't have found anyone to tell yet , now go , I'll get rid of the gun, and don't worry , no one will find out about tonight , they'll keep a secret if I ask them too.`**

**`Thank you , for everything `, he said, `I really do owe you my life, he said**

**`Well just make sure that you do something useful with it Sam , ok `, she said**

**`You have my word,` he said, and started to walk back to the mansion.**

**She waited a few moments to make sure Sam had gone and then said**

**`You can all come out now`,**

**`How long have you known we were there `, Actor asked**

**`A herd of elephants would have made less noise`, she said**

**Craig walked up to her . `I'm so sorry`, he said` I hope you can forgive me`.**

**She stared at him**

**`Well it's not all your fault, maybe if I'd had the courage to tell you , things would have been easier for everyone. It was just that I know how you feel about ,oh you know, and it was just so hard to tell you and it wasn't something that I was proud of either, it was just easier to pretend it didn't happen, and there was no reason that you ever had to know. How was I to know you were going to go through my medical records, now that never crossed my mind`, she said.**

**He sat down next to her. `I was just worried that you were ill and keeping something from me , I'm sorry , I should have trusted you more`. He said, `next time I'll just ask ok?`**

**`That might be easier, and at least you won't have to try and kill anyone , now will you? she asked him , I take it you have got all that out of your system now and we can get back to normal? she asked sarcastically,**

**`Got a little out of hand , didn't it? he asked **

**`Guess some of that is my fault too, should have told you I was visiting him , but I thought you'd try and stop me, ` she said sadly**

**Thought that maybe you wouldn't understand, I think that by the time I met Sam I'd used up all my hate on you`. He punished himself more than I ever could have, Hating him wouldn't have helped either of us`, she said**

**He didn't say anything, just stood and looked at her.**

**`Do you think that there is anything else the two of us can screw up or shall we stop now? she asked him**

**He laughed , `Maybe we should just go back to being a little crazy , it did seem to work better , now didn't it?**

**`Yeah , we weren't doing to badly , were we? she said**

**`But I think we need a lesson or two in communication don't you ? Because this can never happen again , she said, ` I promise to talk to you more if you promise to listen and not get mad, ok`.**

**`Me get mad, you're the one with the temper , and you never listen to anything I tell you`, he said**

**Actor nodded at Goniff and the two of them walked quietly away knowing now that their peacemaking skills would not be needed.**

**`You think they'll carry on like that for long then? Asked Goniff.**

**Actor laughed , `Oh I do hope so , it's one of the ways that I know that they're all right `, he replied**

**`Yeah they do argue a lot, don't they? said Goniff**

**`Just like any normal brother and sister I assume , just look at Casino, he's never happy unless he's fighting, I think he grew up that way, he never stays mad for long , now does he? Actor said**

**They heard the voices behind them raise an octave or two as the argument continued. **

**`What say we go and get some coffee then and leave them too it, eh mate ? Goniff asked**

**`Actor smiled, Now that Goniff is something we'll not argue about`, **

**and as they headed back to the mansion ,the sound of the siblings fighting drifted into the distance. **


End file.
